COMEDIES

CONTEST RESULT!

2008-03-07T15:17:00.000-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS LI!

With 44% of the votes he is the winner of the 'ZurpriZe' contest!

Li won a meal for two at McDonalds, and an extra dollar tip on his next delivery!

Thank-you everyone for voting!

ZURPRIZE!

2008-02-29T15:10:00.000-05:00

Story by Zayury
Pictures by Zayury

Hello ladies and gentlemen!

I wanted to do something different, something that has NEVER been done before!

After much thought and deliberation it occurred to me that a Sim model story would be such a THING! What an incredibly NOVEL idea!

So let me welcome you to "Zayury's Top Model Search"!

Before I introduce you to our 6 finalists, let me take you back to how the process began!

First, I searched far and wide for possible prospects!

.....

Second, I held an open audition were thousands of applicants showed up!

.....

"Well, hello! Are you here to audition?"

"No, I'm sorry I was looking for Dr. Smith's office."

"Does this look like a freaking doctor's office?! It's on the third floor genius, do you think you can find that?!"

After this lengthy and exhausting process we finally narrowed it down to 6 finalists!

Let's begin now with the introductions!

BUBBA!

"Howdy yall! I's from Backwoods Dinky town! I's married to my cuzin PeggySue and we have 3 younguns! Theys kinda slow, don't know why, but theys sweetharts! I supply Zayury's moonshine! Hope yall vote for me!"

PEDRO!

"Buenos dias! I is from Mexico! I live in California wis my wife and 8 chilindren, mi parents, mi wifes parents, cuzins, and I thinks that it! I am Miz Zayury's gardener! Vote me please....I need money, the Miz is very cheap! Gracias!"

NOTSTRAITUS!

"Hello darlings! You can see for yourselves how fabulous I look! I am too fierce darlings! I love fashion and MEN! Zayury's hair would be a crying shame without me, I'm her hairstylist! Vote for me darlings nothing else makes sense!"

ICE CHIPS!

"Yo wat up! Is like this let me spelt it out fo' ya suckas!

Vote for me cuz I grew up in da street Make no sense to be dis tense When you rollin with the Feds Word to your motha!

I broke in to Z's crib once, she a'right!"

MAD DOG!

"Hey! Hot Mama or Zayury as you know her is in my biker gang! I have a kick ass Harley! So vote for me, or I'll ride it up your ass!"

LI!

"Vely nice to meet you! I Kunfu master! I smarter than you! I deliver Chinese food to Zayuly! You like my food so vote fo Li!"

Alright! Now that you have met the finalists let me show you the pictures of their bathing suit and formal photo shoot!

BUBBA

PEDRO

NOTSTRAITUS

ICE CHIPS

MAD DOG

****

You have met the finalists and you have seen their photo shoots. Now ladies and gentlemen the decision is yours! Who should be the the winner and be crowned "Zayury's Top Model"?! The poll is now open vote for the winner!

Your decision will be announced on the main page next week! Thank-you for joining us and have a great day!

**UPDATE** Click on 'Contest Result' to see who won!

CONTEST RESULT

ZAYURY'S SNOW WHITE

2008-02-21T14:39:00.003-05:00

Story by Zayury
Pictures by Zayury

My deepest thanks to all the CC creators who made this story possible! Especially CycloneSue the creator of the castle used in this story!

Hello dear friends! I'm sorry it took a while to bring this story to you. I first tried to post my "Snow White" back in September of 2007, but unfortunately my previous publisher rejected it. Fortunately for us, this publisher is a lot more lenient! The original story was destroyed in a fit of anger! Not by me of course, you all know by now how sweet and calm I am in nature! Ahem....anyways this is the rewrite so let us begin!

Once upon a time....

In a beautiful castle nestled deep in the forest...

There lived a very powerful Queen. This Queen was well known for her cruel disposition and for her vanity!

The Queen had a magical mirror, and every morning she would go to her mirror and say the same thing.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

Suddenly a face appeared on the magical mirror!

"My Queen, every day you ask me the same question, and every day I respond, that you are the fairest of them all...except today!"

"What?! What do you mean except today?!"

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"I WANT THE TRUTH!"

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

"Your stepdaughter, Snow White, with her skin as white as snow, her hair black as ebony, and her lips red as blood, is the fairest of them all!"

"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!"

The Queen furiously left her bed chamber and had her best huntsman brought to her.

"My Queen, you have sent for me, how may I serve you?"

"Go find Snow White and kill her! Don't come back until the deed is done, I want proof of her death, bring back her heart!"

"I am your servant my Queen, I will do as you ordered!"

The huntsman quickly left the castle in search of Snow White.

Near the forest, unaware of her impending danger, Snow White swayed in the warm breeze of the beautiful sunny day and sang.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music! La la la la...!"

Excuse me! You really did not expect me to know what song she was singing right?! It's bad enough I know this one!

Seeing Snow White alone near the forest the huntsman approached her and set his plan in motion.

"Hello Snow White, I've been looking for you!"

"Is something wrong Mr. Huntsman?"

"I need your help Snow White! One of the scullery maids went to look for some herbs and accidentally stepped in one of my hunting traps!"

"Oh my goodness, of course I'll help you, let us go immediately!"

The huntsman quickly walked into the forest with Snow White close behind him. When they were deep in the forest and had reached a small clearing the huntsman stopped.

"What's wrong Mr. Huntsman, where is the scullery maid?"

"I'm sorry Snow White but that was a lie. Your stepmother, the Queen, has ordered you killed!"

"My stepmother wants me killed?! I can't believe that, why?!"

"I don't know Snow White."

"Who is going to do it?"

"I AM!"

"Really?!"

"So you feel lucky punk?! WELL DO YOU?! COME ON THEN GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT!"

Alright, Snow White, KICK HIS ASS!

Snow White and the huntsman squared off and started circling each other!

"AYEAH! TAKE THIS PUNK!"

"Humph"

Left! Right! ANOTHER LEFT! YOU GO GIRL!!

"AYEAH!"

"Aaaaa!"

"AAAAYEAAAH!"

"Aaaaargh!"

"AAAYEAAH!"

"AAAAARGH!"

"Please....please no more..."

"YOU HAD ENOUGH PUNK?!"

"Please! Miss Snow White, I beg of you....have mercy on me..."

"YOU WORTHLESS SWINE GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

The huntsman ran away from Snow White as if his life depended on it, which it did.

"You tell that bitch she can keep her castle, I'm out of here! But she better not try to find me or she'll receive twice the beating you got!"

YAY! YOU WON GIRL! ALRIGHT!

With one last look at the retreating huntsman, Snow White turned around and walked deeper into the forest.

By mid day, tired from the long walk, Snow White suddenly heard the sound of water. Her step quickened to find the source and hopefully a good resting spot!

To her amazement she came upon an incredible site! A small rustic cabin resting near a slow flowing river, deep in the middle of the forest!

Snow White ran to the cabin and knocked on the door. She knocked several times but no one answered. She turned and tiredly leaned against the door. Snow White was wondering who could possibly live in such a secluded area when she heard a voice and raised her face to find the source.

"Hello! I'm Doc!"

"I'm Dopey!"

"Hello sweetness! "I am Grumpy!"

!!!!!!!

!!!!!!

"I am Bashful!"

"Pleasure to meet you, I'm Sneezy!"

"I'm Happy!"

"And I am Sleepy, darling!"

"Oh my! The pleasure is all mine! Mmmmm.....how about if we move this little gathering inside?!"

"Oooooh, hahahaha, Grumpy, you are such a tease!"

WAIT! WAIT FOR ME!!

WAIT!!!

Well, hello fellows! How are you doing?! Hehehehe...

Hahahaha! OOOOOOH! Hehehehe! Mmmmmm! OOOOOH BABY!!!

Ahem!

Excuse me ladies and gentlemen! My deepest apologies but due to 'technical difficulties' we will be unable to continue with this story! We will 'work' all night to fix this problem, no matter how long it takes! You may call this number for a refund: 1-800-IN-YOUR-DREAMS!

THANK-YOU AND GOOD-BYE!

Check out the Seven Dwarf's photo shoot here:

ZAYURY’S SEVEN DWARFS

CHAPTER 3

2008-02-14T14:53:00.000-05:00

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Story by Zayury
Pictures by Zayury

Originally posted at TSR on 8/30/07.

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! Thank-you very much for all your sweet comments and for returning to read the last part of this story! I am fully prepared to deal with whatever our dear 'sweet' Cinderella has install for us today! Now let us begin!

After the mean stepmother and wicked stepsisters left, Cinderella waited till it got dark....

then she ran out of the house yelling!

"FAIRY GODMOTHER! FAIRY GODMOTHER! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Cinderella! My dear, why are you running around yelling like a banshee?"

"Well! There you are! It's about time! I'm going to the prince's ball and I need a gown right NOW, fairy godmother!! So, hurry up I don't have all night!!"

"I see. Since you asked so 'nicely' I'll be happy to assist you with one!"

The fairy godmother waved her wand towards Cinderella...

and a blue mist began to cover Cinderella!

"I'm warning you, this better be good godmother!"

When the blue mist cleared Cinderella was dressed in a beautiful soft pink gown, and she had a new hairstyle!

"VOILA' my dear! You are breathtaking!"

"ARE YOU INSANE! I LOOK LIKE I SHOULD BE ON TOP OF A SWEET 16 CAKE!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!! DID SHIRLEY TEMPLE PUKE ON MY HAIR?!! YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GOODY-TO-SHOES MIND IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO WEAR THIS PIECE OF S..."

Cinderella!

Zdon't get upset withz your godmother...hiccup!

I think all...you...it looks good...hiccup!

"OH RIGHT! I'M GOING TO GET FASHION TIPS FROM MY 'PURITAN' NARRATOR, I DON'T THINK SO!!"

"GIVE ME THAT WAND!! I'LL DO MY OWN DRESS!!"

"Cinderella, you are hurting me!"

"I was only trying to help you, Cinderella! Please be careful with that wand!"

"I know how to use this! COME ON WAND! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!"

Oooh! My hand vlooks pretty goodz! hiccup!

"OH! WOW!! I LOOK GOOD!!"

Uh...I zthink you forgot the whip? hiccup!

"Hahaha! Hahaha!!"

"VERY FUNNY! Ha! FINE, I'll change!"

"COME ON WAND! ONE MORE TIME!!"

Cinderella waved the wand over herself and a blue mist covered her again!

I'm afraid to look...hiccup!

"TA DA!! OH YEAH BABY! THIS IS IT! WHO'S YOUR MAMA?!!"

Oh Yeah! Zthat's more zdiscreet! Hahaha!! hiccup!

"HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, my stomach hurts! Hahaha!!"

"I DON'T CARE! Laugh all you want! I AM WEARING THIS AND THAT'S FINAL!!!"

Vwhatever...no back off my skin! hiccup!

"Remember Cinderella you have until midnight!"

The ball was in full swing when Cinderella arrived!

"HELLO EVERYBODY! YOUR GODDESS IS HERE!!"

Oh man, how embarrassing...I zdon't know her...hiccup!

"Prince! I'm so glad to finally meet you! I'm sure you've been wanting to meet me, I'm Cinderella!"

"Aumph! Yes, thank-you! Nice to meet you too Cinderella...(where's the rest of her dress?)"

"So, prince! Your place or mine?! mmmm"

"Ahem! Ahem! Ah..."

Oh yeah! Zthat's playing hard zto get! Hahaha! hiccup!

"Oh! Prince I love dancing slow songs!"

"Agggh! Cinderella, there is no music! Please...I can't breathe..."

The prince managed to escape Cinderella and went to dance with Anastacia! (Thank-you animcfly for giving me the names of the wicked step-sisters!) Cinderella was quickly distracted by the royal messenger!

While the prince kept dancing with Anastacia, Cinderella enjoyed herself being the center of attention of several admirers!

Uh...Zcinderella...I zthought you wanted the prince?...hiccup!

When the dance finished the prince embraced Anastacia lovingly!

Ooohoo! Cinderella! Zsomeone is zsteeling your cake! haha...hiccup!

"Shut up Zayury! Nobody is stealing anything from me! Can't you see I'm busy with this yummy young thing?! Where were we handsome...mmmm!"

Suddenly the prince halted the music and stood at the front of the room to address his guests!

"Thank-you everyone for coming tonight! I am ready to announce who I have chosen for a bride!"

"ANASTACIA! WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"

Anastacia was momentarily shocked while her sister Drisella (Thank-you again animclfy!) and her mother applauded! The royal messenger quickly consoled Cinderella!

Ugh! How humiliating, zthat had to hurt! hiccup!

"YES! YES! YES! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

The prince crossed the room quickly and embraced his love again! Mean stepmother and Drisella happily watched the happy couple!

Unfortunately, they only lived happily for about 2 weeks...they divorced a year later...

Cinderella suffered for about 2 minutes the loss of the prince, and then SHE lived VERY happily ever after!!

YEAH! YOU GO GIRL!!

THE END

Zthank-you for reading my zstory and being zsuch a wonderful audience! hiccup! Now my family will have zto beg my forgiveness! I know I proved zthem wrong!! hiccup!

BYE BYE! KISSES KISSES!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 2

2008-02-13T14:50:00.000-05:00

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Story by Zayury
Pictures by Zayury

Originally posted at TSR on 8/28/07.

After doing all her cleaning and chores Cinderella would go to her room and look out the window. She had a great view of the beautiful castle in the village from there! She would wonder about the prince that lived there. It was rumored that he was a very handsome prince!

"I'm going to get me some...mmmm...hahaha!"

CINDERELLA! You promised you would behave yourself! Remember PG13!

Cinderella meant she would get some 'supper' little boys and girls, just supper...okay? Lets continue...

A couple of days later an invitation to a ball was delivered to their home by a royal messenger! He presented the invitation to the mean stepmother.

"One, Two, listen up! The prince is looking for a bride and he wants to meet all eligible demoiselles! That is why he is hosting this ball!"

Wicked stepsisters One, and Two jumped up and down with joy! Now one of them would get to marry the prince! While they celebrated, Cinderella had a dreamy...?!

Where's Cinderella? Mean Stepmother!

"Yes?"

Where's Cinderella?

"I don't know, Two have you seen Cinderella?"

"Mom, she was standing..."

"over there... I don't know where she went?"

What's that banging? Do you ladies hear that moaning?!

OH NO! C I N D E R E L L A !!!!!!

GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

"Alright, alright!! I'm coming! Jeez! Maybe YOU need a little stress relie..."

CINDERELLA!!

QUIET!! Considered yourself on a "DIET" from now till the end of your story, do you understand?! You are giving me a headache!

"FINE! You are giving me a pain much lower....#$@#..."

THAT'S ENOUGH!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am mortified... please excuse the interruption and let's continue with this "lovely" fairytale...

While they celebrated, Cinderella had a dreamy look on her face wondering what she would wear to the ball!

"Cinderella, maybe if you finish all your chores you could go with us my dear!"

The day of the ball arrived! The mean stepmother and wicked stepsisters were ready to go! Cinderella was still washing dishes so she was left behind...

"Good-bye Cinderella, hahaha! Too bad you didn't finish, hahaha!"

"They think I didn't finish my chores, ha! There is only one way to make an entrance...SOLO baby! Hahaha!!"

Thank-you for reading this chapter! I will have the final chapter of this story in a couple of days. I have to take something for this headache right now. I must prove to my family that I am calm, cool, and collected! I will not beat the c.... out of a certain character! I am in control! Smile!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 1

2008-02-12T14:46:00.000-05:00

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Story by Zayury
Pictures by Zayury

Originally posted at TSR on 8/23/07.

Hello everyone! I have never written a story before and this is my first attempt! I have been accused of being sarcastic and having a sick sense of humor!

Obviously my family doesn't know me very well! So I am writing these little fairytales to prove them wrong! I will now narrate my first story, "Zayury's Cinderella"!

Once upon a time in a beautiful small village...

there lived a sweet and pure young demoiselle named....Eh?!

I...aa, ammm, ahem... excuse me for a second...

Psst! Psst!

Ahem!! Cinderella!!

"Wwhaat? Oh, hi!"

Cinderella! I am telling your story, and you are suppose to be sweet and PURE!

"Oh! Yes, yes, of course! I'm sorry! Run along... what did you say your name was?"

"Rusty"

"Oh, yeah! Run along Rusty!"

Thank-you for waiting, sorry about that.

There lived a sweet and PURE young demoiselle named Cinderella!

"La, la la, la la..."

Cinderella would spend her days singing while doing her outside chores! Her sweet papa had been a wealthy landowner.

When he died she was left at the mercy of her mean stepmother and wicked stepsisters! Cinderella loved and missed her papa very much!

"Stupid, old man! I can't believe he didn't leave a will! For crying out loud old man! You never heard of being prepared! You #@$#@..."

Ahem, excuse me again!

Cinderella!! Hello?! Did you forget you have an audience?! Will you control yourself and pretend you loved your sweet papa!!

"Oh! hahaha, I'm sorry! Hahaha!"

"PAPAA! PAPAA!!! Oh, how can I go on without my dear sweet PAPA! bohoo, snif!"

Hmph! A little over the top... I guess it will do.

After doing her outside chores Cinderella would spend the rest of her day cleaning after her 2 wicked stepsisters, One and Two (sorry I can't remember their names)!

Oh for crying out loud! CINDERELLA!!!

Would you kindly stick to the story!! YOU are supposed to be cleaning after them! Not the other way around!

"Alright, alright! Jeez, talk about being a testy b..."

CINDERELLA! WE ALL CAN HEAR YOU!!

"Sorry..."

"I'm starting to hate "my" stupid story..."

"Oh, man! I think I broke a nail!"

I'm sorry about the delay ladies and gentlemen it's hard to get good fairytale help. Maybe this would be a good time to stop. I'm sure that with this little example I have proven my family is wrong about me! I hope you will return and read the next part of this story! Maybe if you are having problems sleeping this story will help you fall asleep, lol! See ya next time!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3